Do not let the title fool you.
I am not here to only preach about how self-pleasuring and orgasms will benefit your mood, energy and blood pressure like we commonly see in sex advice columns. While all that is true, I am here to actually preach about your freedom to choose how you pleasure yourself, whether it is with orgasms, sex toys, a walk on the beach or eating that rich decadent chocolate cake. The point I am going to make here is you choosing to pleasure yourself in all aspects of your life in order to take care of your mental and physical well-being.
This is a key example of the many benefits sex can offer us. While this all sounds fine and dandy, we need to ask ourselves important questions:
- Have I read and engaged in enough sources that are conducted by experts and professionals in their field?
- After reading, can I relate to the population characteristics and variables of these studies, and how well do I fit in? (varies by age, sex, ethnicities, backgrounds etc.)
- Do I currently lack these benefits, or am I already average (sleep well, eat well, relatively happy etc.)?
We all experience these benefits differently, and vary whether these benefits will occur or not. We do not all experience happiness, stress, or our immune systems the same; so why do we all follow the same sex advice? Why do we maintain the idea that sex is the only solution to improve various aspects of our lives?
What we often hear when we think about pleasure is sex, specifically sex with ourselves. I commonly used the word ‘masturbating’ to say that I was rubbing the bean or fingering the cave (I’m so hip with the kids I know.) Once I started blogging and immersed myself in the sex geek community, I read that ‘masturbating’ has attached negative connotations, which we often associate with smut, taboo and is considered unacceptable by society. Then comes in self-pleasuring, signifying sex with oneself and we enjoy it. There’s no underlying notions of dirt or wrongness, simply because we are experiencing pleasure through the magic of our hands or toys we may use.
I don’t know why I just called my vagina a cave.
What is also great about using self-pleasuring is the idea that we do not need to associate it only with sex. We can apply self-pleasuring to all aspects of our lives. For example, I self-pleasure myself with reading my collection of books. I just love escaping away to new worlds and new characters to the point that I envy their lives in a good way. It is massive and will not stop growing (pun intended? idk.) and the occasional erotic romance every now and then. I also self-pleasure by looking at cat and dog videos/pictures. Pets have also been known to increase your mood and overall well-being and it certainly does to me. I have yet to share my life with my cat and dog. One day.
These are only a couple of examples of self-pleasuring, but think and write about what gives you pleasure. Is it visiting your best friend for the fourth sleepover? Is it buying the new active gear for that new gym membership? Is it going for a bike ride on the trail? Is it camping with a group of your friends out in the country over a hot campfire? Is it lying in bed? Damn that sounds good.
The great Guilty Pleasures phenomenon describes the activities we shamelessly indulge in and keep to our own. I am sure you know what I am talking about so let me just leave you to your dirty imaginations haha.
Sex toys are often considered scary and not worth trying because some think of it as cheating. I can admit that I have never used a sex toy before because of my student status and lack of income, but I am open to the experience (pun intended) and willing to try something new. Perhaps I will write about it when the time comes (it happened again.) Good time to try Jlips.co eh?
Let us live our lives deriving pleasure through the small things, and reflect on the relationships with people by engaging in your pleasurable activities together. If that’s not your cup of tea, do it yourself if you so wish, and place your pleasure list into action. No one says you need to have someone with you to pleasure yourself.
From your sex pal,
Val
Sex and Mental Health 